So it looks like surgery.
As in, this Friday.
We’ll know tomorrow for sure.
I posted a few weeks back about 4 of 8’s fabulous, new, expensive walking-cast boot, a fashion necessity due to suspected tarsal coalition. Tarsal coalition is a congenital condition in which two of the tarsal bones of the foot begin to fuse together. The foot becomes very stiff and pain and injury become constant companions. 4 of 8 has undergone four weeks in the ‘boot’and a CT scan has confirmed the orthopedist’s suspicions. We went back to the pediatric orthopedist late last week and found that 4 of 8’s foot is now almost completely inflexible.
It looks like it’s time to surgically intervene.
But 4 of 8 has been very trepidacious about all of this. She’s not had a surgery before. She is worried about the pain. She is worried about the scar. She is worried about the doctor making a mistake. She is worried that she won’t be healed up in time for spring soccer.
She’s fighting fear.
And I don’t show her…but I am too.
I’m fighting a little border skirmish with fear because surgery in 4 of 8’s case is really up to us. It could be thought of as an ‘elective’ surgery, if you will. There are those individuals who choose not to have the surgery. They choose to let the bones of the foot completely fuse. They choose to live with the foot ultimately becoming completely stiff. They choose to live with the pain and to alter their activities to accommodate the symptoms of the tarsal coalition.
So, that is an option.
But, for our active, busy, soccer-playing, dancing, jumping, running 4 of 8, that really doesn’t seem like an option at all.
4 of 8’s one request was that her daddy be at the surgery with her. We originally set the surgery date for a couple of weeks from now, but a pre-planned business trip couldn’t be changed. I told 4 of 8 that she and I could handle it. I told her that her PaPa could be there with us too.
She still wants her daddy.
So, when the scheduling nurse called back and said they could move up the surgery date, that they could set it for a time that M would be in town, I asked 4 of 8 what she thought. She shifted her gray-blue eyes skyward, thought for a moment, chewed on her lip, and then said, “Deal.”
She’s resisting fear. She’s mastering it. She’s willing to push through the fear to overcome inflexibility. She’s willing to accept some pain and scars to have greater freedom. She’s trafficking in courage.
So I suppose I should, too.
And now I want to hear your profiles in courage, those times you have known that it was time to go through an experience you feared, but that could ultimately be the best thing for you. The time you had to choose a tougher path in the present to smooth the road for your future. A time when you had to resist your fear to lay claim to greater flexibility, growth, freedom. Feel free to post your story in the comment box or write your own post on this topic and put the url of that post and your name in the Mister Linky’s box below. Come on, you courageous thing, you!
Preparing for Pre-Op,
Hi there! The thing that I was most scared of recently was when my beautifully planned homebirth went wrong and after 36 hours of labour, I had to be rushed in to an emergency c-section.
Two quotes that helped:
“…Our Lord very humbly revealed words to me: “You will not be overcome,” were said very insistently and strongly. He did not say: “You will not be troubled” or “You will not have bitter labour” or “You will have no discomfort” or “You will not be assailed” or “You will not be disquieted,” but he said: “You will not be overcome.” God wants us to pay attention to his words, and always to be strong in our certainty, in well-being and in woe, and all will be well.” Julian of Norwich
And also a line from a poem by Oriah Mountain Dreamer, a Native American Elder, who writes
I want to know if you can see beauty
even when it is not pretty every day,
I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair,
weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done
for the children.
And I remember deciding that I would not be overcome, and that this birth would be a beautiful event even if it wasn’t pretty! And I realized that it was not such a bad lesson to learn; that what our children want for themselves is not always what we want for them! Anyway, we’re all still here. And, who knows, maybe more strongly bonded because of it?
Pregnancy, childbirth, and – to be absolutely frank – just getting out of bed on some mornings to face doing the exact same thing I did the day before and the day before that and the day before that…
I would have chosen the surgery also – that other “option,” you wouldn’t be able to live with having chosen for your child.
Poor 4! I’m so sorry to hear she’s going to have to have the surgery, but I know she’ll come through it with flying colors. I’ll be praying for her and the rest of your family. *hugs* Please let us know how she’s doing afterwards.
Oh, I am so sorry, my friend. Please know my thoughts and prayers will be going out to 4 of 8.
I was really scared to go to university–to be 2,000 miles from home. BUt I did it, and it was a huge adjustment. My first semester I was a little of a mess, but it got better. Maybe I got better.
Other times I have faced major fear, I am thinking that I was not so much courageous. I am thinking that situations were going to play out however they did, like it or not.
I will be facing this soon, however, and I hope to show as much courage as you and 4 of 8. Next summer I will be undergoing brain surgery to hopefully correct the trigeminal nerualgia that I’ve had for the past two plus years. The summer following, I will get the other side done. I need to begin the scheduling process in December. I don’t look forward to any of it.
Good luck to all of you. {{hugs}}
Hugs to 4! Her scar will become one of her badges of courage in life. I hope all goes well, and wish her a speedy recovery!
Hugs to you too, momma, I’m sure you wish you could make it all better with a kiss and a smile.
Take care,
Steph
What courage! Lots of Love and Hugs to all of you 🙂
WHOOHOO for #4 being brave. choosing a more active fate. it would be so sad to let a little fear ruin her chances of being a soccer star, or dancer, or active mom someday. and pain is not an option. you are doing the right thing.
the brave ,courageous, hard, but oh so worth it thing.
you’ll be in my thoughts and prayers that all will be well.
i can’t say i’ve ever felt true fear to have surgery. if i’m having it or my children are they need it. and i am almost elated that the problems they’ve had before will be fixed, sure there is recovery, but i choose to consider it like a vacation. especially when i had my surgeries and radiation for Thyroid cancer. bed rest? WHOOHOO! laying around recovering and not lifting more than 8 lbs. FABULOUS. sure it got frustrating. but seriously i never get much of a break unless i’ve had surgery. and never that much alone time.
i have felt fear wondering if i’d ever feel good again. or of having a recurrence. but i only feel that when it’s close to testing time, or waiting for results. i get frazzled and apprehensive. with good reason though.
but things are good and a good attitude and a light heart always helps with a speedy recovery.
I can tell you about a sweet 9 year-old sister who got stepped on by a cow named Teeny three years ago (about this time of year). Teeny smooshed sister’s tibia…the top part that meets the patella where the growth plate is…yikes!
So sister had open surgery ten days later (laparascopic wouldn’t do the trick), and was braver than most people, and the next morning asked the nurses if she could have bacon for breakfast. Isn’t that adorable?
Will keep 4 in my thoughts and prayers.
l e a h
Courageous girl. 🙂 It seems that you have decided upon the best course of action for your child, and in the end, you know what’s right for her. 🙂
This is totally not the same thing, but my son had tubes in his ears last year. It freaked me right out. He was too young to know what was going on but I worried so much about it…like the anesthesia, everything. I prayed so hard. My family and friends prayed and thank God it all worked out. You will have a blanket of prayer over you whenever the surgery is. Keep us updated. We will pray. Have you ever read the blog My Charming Kids? About MckMamma…the story of Stellan and how doctors said he wouldn’t make it but when he was born…he was fine. No problems. We’ll pray this happens with your daughter too.
you have been tagged. a really sweet and simple tag, that any busy mom can do. come over and see… :-)hope you are having a great day!!! 🙂 Smiles!
Poor 4 of 8! Poor Mama who has to make this choice for her child (what I would also choose) 🙂 But it sounds like she is being so very, very brave and so are you. We will pray that all goes well and wait for the update when it comes.
Fear???? I have NEVER been debiltated by it- Oh never!!! (yeah, right) I just may have to post on this one, but let me think about it… and, as far as your “baby” girl… If she can master how to be confident in the Lord and overcome her fears because she can trust in Him, well, God will use that. May God place His peace in her heart, and in yours,as you all go throught this stretching and growing time, and may He deliver her into His boldness, His Joy, and His healing as you all go through this time. May God use you all to minister to and witness to the doctors, nurses, and anyone else who comes in your path, and above all, may you all, especially your daughter, see God’s loving and capable hand moving, situating, working, and being so REAL. Thinking of you… Blessings and Peace, in Jesus’ name!
I know from one momma to another this is hard…to see our child go through surgery. When our baby boy was about 10 weeks old we found out he had an anal fistula — the Drs. told us it was our decision..they recommended it be corrected with surgery but it was necessary at this time..but it could likely become infected and be a huge problem in the future…but there was always a chance it wouldn’t. The decision was hard but we allowed the surgeon do what he did best–surgery. They took great care of my little man and ultimately I knew He was in His father’s hands! God even sent a chatty woman to the waiting room that I had never met but who talked my ear off and made the time pass so quickly.
Sending you and your little one HUGS today.
WTG you guys, you for being realistic and knowing 4 well enough to know she really needs this more than she probably knows. And to 4 of 8! What a kid! She is going ahead with the op, terrifying as it is she is going for it..and with Dad there too! I’m so pleased for her that he will be there!
I am currently fighting demons with the big girly op! Do i lose one ovary now and let them take the rest when i am over 40 or do i bite the bullet now and lose the lot with the chance of osteoperosis later on in life? tough choice..and work, family, etc etc….So yeah i’m a little scared – 1 or 2 ops?
You and Debbie (at Etc., Etc., Etc.) got me thinking, so I posted. Your little girl is so brave.
4 of 8 is VERY brave.
Sending prayers your way. I would vote for the elective surgery too if I were you. It just doesn't seem fair to a child (& parent of a child) to have to endure such difficult decisions. Hugs to you and 4 of 8.
I can imagine the fear. And 4 of 8 is being so brave. I’m sure she is taking her cues from you. Well done.
Sending you and 4 of 8 many prayers for a successful surgery.
best wishes for a speedy recovery!!
Surgery is scary for the patient AND the parent! Lots of hugs and a lovey has helped our boy for his three sets of ear tubes. Good luck with everything!
Praying for you guys to have peace and a quick recovery! I know that’s a hard choice to make.
Wishing you peace and a very quick recovery!
That was beautifully written, hun, simply beautiful. Will be praying for her and for you! Finding some sort of peace in a situation like this is so difficult. It’s a wonderful challenge to have us write about this topic as well, but I’m feeling suddenly weak and without ideas.
I still have issue with doing dishes without rubber gloves, afraid of getting my hands slimey.
Sigh.
I’m thinking. I’m thinking….
Just maybe I haven’t faced my fears. Maybe I’m still hiding from them. Hmmm. I’ll keep thinking.
And, in the meantime, I’ll be thinking about 4 of 8’s surgery and saying a prayer for her. Tell her we’re thinking about her and that we see her as wise, not just brave.
Hugs,
Roban
hi there…
tried to leave a comment yesterday, but just wanted you to know ~ you, 4 of 8 and the whole bunch are in my prayers!
as for me and courage, I am such a scary-mary, so I need to think about if I even should real courage ever…
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