“Ow!”
“Oooww! Ow! Ow, ow, ow!”
7 of 8 repeats this mantra over and over. She says it at physical therapy. She says it when we do weight bearing exercises. She says it when we place kinesio tape on her scapula and her tricep and her forearm. She says it when I put her in her high chair when she doesn’t want to sit there. She says it if I put her in an outfit she doesn’t like. She says it if her twin comes within five feet of her.
“Ow!”
It’s become her immediate response.
But the irony of it is that these activities don’t hurt her. She allowed us to go through all these motions for many months as we began treating the residual effects of the neonatal stroke and she never showed any discomfort, any pain. But as she’s gotten older, she’s developed opinions about our ministrations–strong opinions.
She just flat doesn’t appreciate our efforts.
And so her verbal response when we gently massage her arm, when we have her reach for an object, when we encourage her to crawl to get a little treat is, “Ow!”
I keep telling her, “It’s not ‘Ow!’…it’s ‘I don’t like this!’
Growth is uncomfortable. Stretching oneself is uncomfortable. Doing what doesn’t come easy is uncomfortable.
Uncomfortable.
But not “Ow!”
I do have to fess up.
There are plenty of times that I myself confuse stretching and growth with pain. I don’t like the unsteady feeling. I don’t like the uncertainty, the sense of being out of balance. And I sometimes respond to those experiences with a resounding, “Ow!”
But it’s not, “Ow!”. It’s “I don’t like this.”
It’s difficult sometimes to tell the difference. Emotional muscles that don’t see the need for greater flexibility and strength can fight back, clawing to try to keep things status quo. Patterns and behaviors that are comfortable with their dance steps can find the process of change awkward. Leaving the familiar to head into unknown terrains can often feel like pain. But it’s really just apprehension.
That stings a little.
But it’s not “Ow!”
What are the things that make you say ‘ow!’ that are really for your own good, your own growth? How do you press beyond the discomfort and charge into change? What do you tell yourself, how do you tell the difference between true pain and true grit? Write your thoughts in a post of your own and place the url of that post and your name in the Mister Linky’s box below or leave your gems of wisdom in the comment box. Come on, it won’t hurt that much!
How true! I’m sat here trying to justify not going to the gym because of the minute amount of snow we have here today! Ooookaaay – here I come!
It is so hard to grow isn’t it? BTW, my old blog was “the back porch”. This is my new one. I wanted to go a different direction.
Ok now you have made me think today about the difference between pain and growth, although there are times when they go together, not always…
can’t wait to read your article…
Bless her heart. Change and growth can be just as painful to some as actuall physical pain.
When your post really sunk in, I thought ‘Ow’! That kind of hurts, because it’s true! I need to think about this.
Thanks!
Growing is hard business!
Exercise does make me say OW and I DON’T LIKE THIS. But I’m pretty sure that if I did it more regularly I wouldn’t say OW anymore. š
And death. It’s something out of my control and I DON’T LIKE THAT, BUT it creates a deeper sympathy, empathy and a depth of love that wouldn’t be there if I hadn’t walked through it myself. If that makes any sense. I’m awfully tired so it might now. Yes, tired. And I don’t like it š
What a fantastically perfect post. You always know so well how to put everything into words.
Not sure my post would count… it’s was written before knowing your topic, but it’s discussing my spiritual growth through the death of my friend’s baby.
My sons (and now my daughter) were always distressed when one of their infant siblings cried.. I reassured them by saying that’s just the way babies let you know they’re having strong feelings — whether they’re cold or surprised or just made something exciting in their diaper. Only sometimes does it mean they’re in pain.
After a while, they got to the point where they would say, “what’s wrong, baby? What are you trying to tell me?”
I loved that.
But now that they’re older and have an arsenal of words at their disposal, I have to remind myself that sometimes they’re still that crying baby. It can be hard not to say, “that’s not worth crying about!” and replace it with “what’s wrong, baby? What are you trying to tell me?”
š – Julia
p.s. I love your new header. It’s lovely.
What a great post! (and your new header is lovely). It’s worth thinking about, isn’t it? Growth is almost always ‘painful’ in some way. It’s hard to grow and leave our comfort zones behind.
Your prompts are always so wonderful. I’m definitely wanting to participate next week. I can’t wait to see what you have in store!
This is a wonderful post. I’ll have to think about my “ow’s” for a while.
Yea you for the Hearts of the Matter article! It was very informative while still maintaining your authentic voice and Octamom-style.
Hugs,
Roban
Another incredibly insightful post! I’ve been saying “ow” a lot lately…
oh… I have one of those “Ow’ers andI never considered I might be doing my own adult version of it… wow, thought provoking. I think I’ll sleep on it.
This is a very thoughtful post. Thanks. I have had a nagging health issue lately and am supposing it is just an impatient, “Don’t like this!” and “Remove it now please!” — not a real “ow!”