Had one of the Deer-in-the-Headlights-Mommy-Moments today.
I was standing in the check-out line at my beloved Costco, cell phone to ear, talking to Mike. Jairus, our 5 of 8, 9 years old, was at the other side of the cart, playing his hand held Nintendo DS. I had just started to put our groceries onto the conveyor.
Even while on the phone with Mike, I was aware of an older man behind us, complaining loudly about the length of the lines, the amount of time things were taking, his opinion that there were not enough checkers. While I do get a bit defensive of my beloved Costco, I refocused on my conversation with Mike and continued to unload my cart.
That is, until this man came stalking up to Jairus.
“Young man!” he barked. “Do you know what you should be doing? Huh? You should put away that d*** telephone and help your mom put groceries on the belt there!” Yelling. Harsh.
I was stunned.
But before I could think of what to do, Jairus took the lead.
“Sir,” he said, “you’re right.” And with that, he shut his DS, put it in his pocket and started helping me unload the cart.
And I stood there with my mouth hanging open.
Stunned that I hadn’t thought quick enough to intervene. Stunned that an adult, a stranger, would dare to say anything to my child who was simply, quietly standing in line. Stunned that he would use curse words. Stunned that he would presume to cross so many boundaries.
And as I stood there stunned, Jairus continued to engage the man in conversation, chatting about the day.
I finished paying for my groceries, taking my receipt, listening as the man began to harangue the checker. Jairus didn’t say anything about the experience as we made our way to the van, just walked alongside me, talking about books and movies and friends.
When we got in the van, I told him how proud I was of him. I apologized for not intervening quickly. And I told him how much maturity he showed, the example he set for me. Not that we should always allow people to charge past appropriate boundaries. But where I saw a cranky old geezer, Jairus saw an older person to whom he should show respect. Where I saw an irascible loud mouth, Jairus saw an opportunity to come up higher, to show greater patience. To bless.
And bless he did.
Both that mean old geezer.
And me.
that IS a proud mama moment! and i'm very proud of you for not socking him one. that would have taken some self control if it had been me! 🙂
Wow! Good for 5. I'm sure you've replayed that situation a hundred times in your head.
(What's with all the old people at Costco lately? I was there on Monday wondering what one or two people need with giant jars of mayo and huge packs of apples.)
Yeah for your boy! What a proud moment for you! What a moment for him.
Sometimes all I see is a mean old person too… the other day we were in line at the checkout (been there for 30 minutes) and another momma (maybe grandmama she was older) got in line behind me with three small people as well… she had a few fewer items than we did and was grumbling and the baby was crying. My 6 year old says to her (without asking first)… "You can go in front of us if you want… you have less stuff than us and your baby is sad ours isn't." When we got in the car I asked her why she had done that. Her answer…. "She needed it more than we did momma"
God sure teaches me with my small people!
Blessings to you!
Momma to 3
Shay B.
Way to go! I love moments like that! It makes you realize that they're turning out to be the kind if person you want to be yourself.
🙂 What an awesome response your son had.
Years ago I was in Wal-Mart buying toilet paper and laundry detergent. I had three kids under the age of 4 and a half. They were sick. I was sick. The toilet paper and detergent were desperately needed or else we never would have left home.
I had the kids packed into a double jogging stroller and wore the baby in a sling. I pushed the stroller and pulled the shopping cart. When we were making our way towards the toilet paper a very grumpy woman came up to me and asked if I had croissants in my cart.
I was confused, very confused. I looked, but… no croissants. She asked again. I said, no- did you put your croissants in the wrong basket? Then she accused me of stealing her cart.
At the time I was so floored that 1. She thought I was stupid enough to ENTER the store without a cart to push my 300 pounds of stuff to the register, and 2. that she couldn't SEE we were too sick to be out and really didn't need her attitude on top of everything else. I just stood there and gaped at her. Total deer in the headlights moment.
After thinking about it for a day I really wished that what I had done was put my hand on her arm and ask if she was having a bad day and if I could go run and get a cart for her since she'd lost hers. We all get caught up in our bad days and forget the rest of the world has them too. I wonder how many other people she attacked that afternoon? What if I'd been sweet in the face of her grumpiness and she'd had an attitude change?
Julie after meeting you and your delightful family I am not at all surprised at 5's reaction.
Believe it or not, you and Mike are responsible for the way your son reacted.
Such a delightful story to read just before I head off to bed.
Big hugs and lots of love sweet friend.
Peggy xxxx