**Today, I’m so honored to welcome Phil and Diane Comer to the blog. Their newest book, Raising Passionate Jesus Followers, releases tomorrow and they’ll be my guests on The Modern Motherhood Podcast this month. They have so much wisdom, humbly gathered over decades of ministry and parenting. Lean in close. Listen to their hearts. And learn.**
The Three Loves every child needs
When we held our firstborn infant in our arms thirty-seven years ago, the truth pressed on our shoulders like the weight of the world:
This is a person, a human!
It dawned on us that in that moment that we held in our hands the potential to hurt our son, to turn him away from God.
That’s when the doubts broke through our awe and humbled us to our knees.
How do we teach our child what we were just beginning to grasp ourselves? Where should we start?
What if we make a mistake and this child we loved with such unexpected ferociousness grows up and decides not to follow Jesus?
These are the questions that plagued us, serving up doubts and insecurity about our ability to teach our own kids.
We were intimidated by the immensity of what we thought needed to be taught, yet at the same time growing in the conviction that teaching and leading and influencing our children’s walk with God was first of all our responsibility.
After all, who could possibly love our kids more than us?
After endless hours of talking and praying together, we decided that there were three main things we wanted our kids to grasp during these years—three things we wanted to see happen in their hearts.
We believed that if they got these truths, they’d be well on their way to growing in the grace of God, just as Jesus did. At the same time we were beginning to see that even though there was a plethora of kid-level books and videos, it was not really more information children crave.
What children need is to connect with God in a real and personal experience.
They need to fall in love with Him.
What we hoped to see happen— what you hope to see carved into your child’s soul— are these three things:
The Three Loves
- Love Jesus
We wanted to do everything in our power to make sure our children fell in love with Jesus. We wanted them to see Him as inviting and heroic, and worthy of their worship.
At the same time, we wanted to watch for and dispel any boredom or disinterest before it could take root. As newcomers to the faith, we were in awe of Jesus and His grace-filled ways. We wanted our kids to share in that awe with us.
But how?
Here’s the beauty of this quest: you get the privilege of describing Jesus to your kids. You get to be the ones painting a compelling picture of who He is.
You point out to your child how He responded to people’s hurts, how He soothed their fears, how He wanted children to come close when adults wanted to chase them away.
You read the stories and you read between the lines, bringing those stories alive in a way your child can understand.
The Gospels will be your go-to place for uncovering the real Jesus, allowing your own preconceived notions to fall away as you set out to discover together who the real Jesus is and what He is really like.
- Read about His friendship with the siblings, Lazarus, Martha, and Mary in Luke 10:38–41 and John 11.
- Tell the story of His compassion towards the man born blind in John 9.
- Note how highly Jesus’ cousin, John the Baptist, honored him in Matthew 3:11, John 1:25–37, and John 3:30.
- Enlighten your children’s understanding of Jesus’ respectful attitude towards women by reading the story of the Woman at the Well in John chapter 4.
- Turn Easter into the greatest celebration of the year by telling the story of the cross and the resurrection. Tell it personally, repeating Jesus’ forgiveness-filled words of love (Luke 23:34) just before He died.
Do you get the idea? You are making Jesus out to be the hero that He is, paving the way for each of your children, in his or her own way, to fall deeply in love with Him.
Perhaps the most powerful tool you have is your own story of faith.
Tell your kids how Jesus changed your life. How He is changing you still. Tell stories of His involvement in your everyday life—both the remarkable, off-the-charts miracle stories, and the seemingly coincidental stories that add up to a beautiful story of love and care over a lifetime.
Make Him real in a way your kids, with their unique personalities, can relate to.
2. Love God’s Word
Second, we wanted our children to love the Scriptures. As soon as your children can read, make sure each one has a Bible of their own, one that they are able to read and understand. Here is a link to a kid’s Bible review .
Let them see you reading your Bible, studying and learning, praying and taking notes. Let them see you ponder the truths you’re learning.
And, be sure you are involved in a Bible-teaching church where the leaders firmly believe in the authority of Scripture and are making it accessible and applicable to real life. Bring your Bibles with you every Sunday so your children understand the incalculable value of the Word of God.
They will see your interest, and that sparks theirs.
3. Love the Church
Finally, we wanted our children to love God’s church.
Our years in pastoral ministry have shown us that no one lasts long as a lone ranger Christian.
God made the church— this great big, diverse community of believers with all her problems— to be the center of His plan to bring the world back to Himself.
We wanted our kids to see the Church as the family it had become for us; imperfect but beautiful, embracing, a place where grace and forgiveness is lived out in real time.
We wanted our kids to see that church is not just a place you go on Sundays, but a living, vibrant community that does life together.
While we knew our kids would have to make their own choice to follow Jesus, we dared believe that we had a role to play.
And so do you.
You cannot make your children fall in love with Jesus or relish the Scriptures. You certainly can’t force them to love the Church! Yet intentionally setting out to ignite a thirst for Jesus in your child’s soul is a privilege handed to us by God.
May He give us the grace and wisdom to raise up the next generation of passionate followers of Jesus!
BIO OF AUTHORS: Phil and Diane Comer founded Westside: A Jesus Church, a church filled with young families in Portland, Oregon. They went on to launch Intentional: Raising Passionate Jesus Followers conferences. Phil and Diane have been married for nearly forty years and have four grown children and a growing cadre of grandchildren. Diane’s book He Speaks In The Silence: finding intimacy with God by learning to listen, was released by Zondervan in 2016.
To learn more, see www.intentionalparents.org
BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF THE BOOK: Raising Passionate Jesus Followers is a manual full of practical, biblically based guidelines that parents will be able to turn to again and again through each stage of their children’s development. Starting at birth, into grade school, through the daunting teenage years, to launching them into college, and finally letting go, this book contains the why’s and the how’s parents need. This book will serve as an invaluable resource for any parent whose greatest longing is to shepherd their children into a vibrant faith in God.
